We are not average students.

Drinking, partying, sleeping. Three things every young person envisions when dreaming of moving away to university. And to be fair, some courses are exactly that. 5 hours of lectures a week? I wish. We are not average students, and here is why.

As my alarm goes off at 4am, the sun just coming up and the birds starting their day, I lay there in my warm comfortable bed and questioned what I was doing. 4am on a Friday morning, the average student having never seen this time unless stumbling in from Thursday night Snobs. At a time when I should have been getting a decent night sleep, I drag myself out of bed and get ready for the day, my 3^rd 13-hour shift of my week. We are not average students.

I’m late, again. There is no choice but to stretch my NHS bursary to get to placement. As I sit in the taxi I wonder what I will have to cut back on next week to get through the month. An extra 60 hours of work on top of a full time placement still doesn’t leave a lot for luxuries. 37.5 hours a week committed to university, whether that be lectures and self directed study or placement. Every week. 3-month summers? Not us, 2 weeks of annual leave at the start of September is our lot. We are not average students.

Today is my first ever shift as acting nurse in charge. Terrified. I arrive in placement to find that we are short staffed, again. First challenge of the working day is to ring temporary staffing to find out if we can get anyone in, “its unlikely” they say, “but we will do our best” I’m told. That will have to wait, its handover time. I pray for a quiet day. I have so much paperwork to do that has been building up over the past few days. My mind is occupied so taking in vital information about our patients is a challenge. The to do list is rapidly building up in my head, there’s a depot to do today, medication to order and above all else, patients to talk to. Is the elderly gentleman back from general hospital? How can I change his care plan to best cater for his needs? I need to advocate for this patient, with limited communication or capacity we are here to be his voice. We are not average students.

A team surrounds me, and for that I am truly grateful. As I begin to shift plan I work out the tasks needed to be done and how I can delegate. Delegation, such an important part of our work. We are a team and we share responsibilities and tasks. We are one. We are each other’s shoulders to cry on when we have had difficult days, we laugh, we work and we share. A team is only as strong as it’s weakest member, we build each other up. Without the team, a nurse alone would simply not be able to do their job. Breaks are allocated and I am thanked for what I have done so far, that alone makes me feel appreciated. We are not average students.

I am already exhausted. The day has started with a low; a patients take home medication has not arrived, again. 3^rd day running. I am so aware that she is waiting outside the office having packed her belongings. She is yet to meet her newborn nephew due to this. With a heavy heart I go to break the news that I’m sorry, I can’t let her go this morning, she needs her medication. Her face drops but says to me ‘that’s okay, it doesn’t matter, it’s not your fault’. Deep down I feel like it is. I feel like I have let her down again. With a deep sadness I apologise again and go to leave the room, she asks if she can sit in there for a moment, of course she can, yes is the least I can say after letting her down. We are not average students.

A patient enters the office and his face breaks in to a smile when he sees who is on shift, which alone is enough thanks. “Good morning” he says, “how are you? Are you here again?” I laugh, “I’m always here”, I reply. I ask him about his plans for the day and we catch up on the night’s events. I smile, how lucky we are to be able to spend time with those who will forever make us laugh. It saddens me that so often they have been put to the side, deemed ‘insane’ and not worth bothering with. How lucky we are to get to know those in our care, their likes and dislikes, their history and future plans. We are not average students.

It’s medication time. My mentor and I prepare the clinic and start dispensing the drugs. 1^st patient arrives and takes a seat, it is so important that we take his physical observations at least twice a day. Pushing everything to the back of my mind I turn to him with a smile and gain consent to take blood pressure, pulse, respiration rate, oxygen levels and blood glucose levels. As I take them I become alerted to the fact that his blood pressure is climbing and his pulse is abnormal. Not to worry him I smile, a tool that every nurse should have; a vital part of our equipment. A smile can deescalate a situation within seconds. Looking at my mentor as I leave the room to bleep the duty doctor I give her a look to tell her what I’m doing. She knows exactly what is going on. I am so scared but that’s not something I am going to reveal. We are not average students.

Grabbing a 10-minute window I head in to the lounge to catch up with the patients. Coping with delusions, suicidal thoughts and various illnesses, our patients have an absolute right to not want to communicate with anyone. But anyone walking past that room, in that moment, would only hear laughing, joking and see smiles. We talk about everything from recent news to family history. As I sit there and observe the scene I suddenly get a familiar wave of nausea, confused, I look at the time. With everything I’ve had to do its 4pm and I haven’t yet eaten. Too often this happens. Thinking of the other staff it occurs to me that throughout the day, they have worked through their break to take patients out and provide first class standard of care. How lucky we are to spend time with both wonderful patients and incredible staff. We are not average students.

We are advocates. We are fighters. We are a shoulder to cry on and someone to laugh with. We get up early and stay up late, because we are passionate about what we do. We are part of a team and provide care to those most vulnerable. I left my house this morning questioning if I could do this. I lay in bed considering throwing in the towel. But we do it, we do it every day, we fight through the emotional and physical pain to fight for our patients, because if we, those who are most passionate about caring, a rising generation of nurses, if we don’t, who will? 

We are not average students.